


the gravity of the universe

by alittlelesspain



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, General Danvers Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 21:50:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11389119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlelesspain/pseuds/alittlelesspain
Summary: In the aftermath of Earth's destruction, Alex adjusts to life on Krypton, and struggles with guilt, as do the others survivors.





	the gravity of the universe

**Part I: Alex (Krypton)**

Astra is waiting for Alex, when Alex finally gets through customs clearance at the Krypton spaceport, and heads out for the waiting area.

Astra is always the one waiting to pick Alex up, although Alex can’t quite figure out why. She would have thought that Astra would prefer to spend every moment of this brief respite from deployments with her family but, every time Alex returns from a mission, it’s Astra who is there to take her back to Alura and Kara, back to the place that feels like a rough facsimile of home.

“Got what you wanted on Celes Prime.” Alex says, by way of acknowledgment, tossing a long and thin parcel towards Astra, who catches it one-handed out of the air, without breaking her stride towards Alex. “Was hell getting it through customs, though.”

“Hello to you too, Alex.” Astra replies, reaching for Alex’s suitcase with her other hand. “A greeting is customary, here on Krypton.”

Alex lets that go without comment, walking beside Astra, as she leads her out of the port, past the docked ships, towards where a pod is waiting to take them home.

“They still haven’t given you back your commission?” Alex asks, as she takes the navigation seat. Astra slips into the passenger seat beside her in wordless agreement, after depositing her suitcase at the back.

The ever-present guilt in her heart rises to the surface along with the question, when Astra shakes her head, face clouding over.

“Alura has been pressing the Council to move up my hearing.” she says, “There is only so much she can do, though, without being accused of favouritism, and making matters worse.”

Alex nods, twiddling with the controls of the pod so that she doesn’t have to look up to meet Astra’s face, although the pod is the standard autopilot build.

“You understand that the pod steers automatically?” Astra inquires, seeing right through her.

Alex looks up.

“I hope it gets resolved soon.” she offers, the statement a poor alternative for _sorry,_ or _you don’t deserve this,_ or _you shouldn’t have to go through this for me._

“I cannot wait to return to the stars.” Is all Astra says, however; words that, coming from anyone else, would have made Alex snort.

“Is that the what the sword is for?” she asks, nodding at the parcel she’d given Astra, which Astra still cradles in her hand, instead of tossing it into the storage compartment along with the suitcase. “Something to help you pass the time, while you wait for the verdict?”

Astra clocks her distaste in her words.

“You don’t like swords, Alex?”

“Why bother with them?” Alex asks. Astra’s kind has genetically engineered their bodies to be superweapons on most planetary systems. Even apart from that, the weapons that Alex has seen on parade in the Kryptonian spacefleet far exceed in capability anything she remembers of Earth’s. Swordfighting seems laughably quaint in comparison.

Astra shrugs in reply to her question.

“I find them an interesting study. They were quite common on your world as recently as three centuries ago, did you know? An effective method of dealing death, if characteristically crude.”

“Did _you_ know,” Alex retorts, “That the whole cultural superiority thing hasn’t gotten any cuter when we’re actually on Krypton?”

There’s a part of her, though, that appreciates that Astra never steps softly around the memory of Earth. Alex thinks that would hurt _more_ , somehow.

“Cute? Are those the terms you think of me in, Ensign Danvers?” Astra asks now, in that curious tone of hers that could be either puzzlement, or just her pulling Alex’s leg.

“Make of it what you will.” Alex replies, facing the front again to avoid the scrutiny of keen grey-green eyes, aware of her face feeling faintly heated.

“Still.” Astra presses. “You must admit that there’s a certain appeal to swordsmanship, something different from what you see in the fight simulators in training.”

“Pass.” Alex says, making a sharp left towards the airway heading to the In-Ze estate.

“Fine.” Astra says, and Alex can see her shrugging, out of the corner of her eyes. “I think you’d do quite well at it, though, if you tried.”

“You planning an experiment?” Alex inquires with mock curiosity. “With me as the test subject? ‘How Many Hours Does It Take For the Average Human Savage To Learn The Crudest Form Of Combat Known To The Universe?’”

“Now, that is where you are wrong, Alex.” Astra says. She leans forward, brushes Alex’s hand away from the controls, and twiddles with the radio knob, so that her favourite station blares to life. An anachronistic addition to the pod; one made of Astra’s own volition, Alex has no doubt.

Astra looks back at Alex when she continues, eyes holding Alex’s own.

“There is nothing average about you, so such an experiment would be flawed in setup from the beginning.”

And really, Alex wonders, as she punches in the coordinates to the In-Ze estate, how were her defenses supposed to stand up against someone who said things like that, in that tone of voice?

 

**Part II: Astra (Krypton)**

Astra drops off Alex in the small guest house that adjoins the estate, and goes up to the main house to check in with her family, mainly to give the other woman some time to herself.

Alura herself comes out of the house to meet her, drawing Astra in for a brief hug before rushing back into the house, calling for Kara to come and help set the table for dinner.

“You’re home from work early.” Astra comments, following her in. “Slow day at the courts?”

“I left as soon as you sent word that Alex had landed.” Alura says. “Believe it or not, the prosecution team _can_ work a case once in a while, without me there to hold their hand.”

“Government employees, holding down their own fort?” Astra frowns. “Doubtful.”

“You were one yourself, quite recently.” Alura reminds her, “Speaking of, Lara will be back from her meeting with the Interplanetary Senate this week, along with Lillian, so I’m thinking of getting everyone together to welcome them home. Even Cat has promised to drop by.”

“Wonderful, I can’t wait to hear what new vitriol the Senate has to proclaim about my ‘insubordination’.” Astra says dryly, although there is not much bite to her tone. After all, Lara, who is Alura’s sister-in-law and Kal-El’s mother, had been one of the earliest and most ardent proponents of Astra’s plan to save the humans.

Whatever Alura had to say in return to that, is interrupted by Kara rushing down the stairs towards them.

“Aunt Astra, you’re back!” she gives Astra a quick hug, and steps back, eyes widening in realization. “That means...Alex!”

She shoots past them as she says this, headed for the cottage, but Astra reaches a hand out, arresting her niece mid-run.

“Give Alex time to settle in, Kara.” Alura admonishes gently, as Astra draws her niece into a lazy hug, to make up for the abruptness.

“But I want to see her.” Kara protests.

“Soon.” Alura promises. “Sooner, if you set the plates.”

Kara frowns, but stomps towards the garden with the dishes. Astra hangs back as Alura trails after her daughter with cutlery, content to merely watch for the moment.

She should savor this precious time with them, during such an unexpected break between deployments. (A break it must be, for Astra refuses to think that her military career is ended forever, even if the guild _had_ stripped her of all her titles and decorations, as soon as she had landed on Krypton with the humans she had salvaged from Earth’s wreckage.)

It’s time that Astra had once thought she wouldn’t live to get, when she had almost died under a red sun on a planet in the Xirzyan series, torso pierced through by a makeshift javelin. Or that time when her squadron had been intercepted mid-flight by a ship of Daxamite slavetakers, while on their way back to Krypton after a routine mission.

Sometimes, Astra fears that she is living on borrowed time, and that her sins would surely catch up to her, if she stays still for long.

Other times, she simply misses the stars.

 

**Part III: Alex (Krypton)**

Alex has finished unpacking, and the guest house is looking somewhat like a person lives there again, by the time Astra returns.

“Alura has invited you over for dinner.” Astra informs her, curling her entire body up in a chair like a cat, and watching Alex arrange a last few items around the room. “I would suggest not refusing, unless you want my sister to come down and carry you to the table herself.”

Alex has to smile. She would believe it, of Astra’s twin.

“I’ll be glad to see Kara again.” she admits.

Kara, who has talked with Alex every day and night while she was away on her mission, who had made sure to procure copies of Alex’s favourite shows from the libraries of Earth’s spaceborne colonies, so they could watch the episodes together over the comms. Kara, who is the only person in this planet whom Alex doesn’t feel indebted to ten times over.

Kara, who feels like _home_ , even though Alex’s home is gone _._

“She has been talking of nothing but your return for the past few weeks.” Astra says. “She has missed you.”

She uncoils herself from the seat, and comes up behind Alex as she says this, stopping just short of their bodies touching.

“She isn’t the only one.”

Alex turns around, reaches out, and Astra leans into her hands, falling back with a willing ease into this thing they had started many months ago, when Alex had first turned her face away from the destruction of Earth, and Astra had kissed the top of Alex’s forehead, as if to comfort her, and stroked her cheek, to wipe away tears that never fell.

It’s Alex who caresses Astra’s cheek now, and draws her in, as Astra’s eyes flutter half-shut, and her hands come to rest in their customary perch around Alex’s neck. Alex kisses her, soft as a whisper, slow and lazy, over and over again, until Astra’s fingers tangle into her hair, and she’s sighing contentedly into Alex’s mouth.

Once upon a time, many years ago, when they had first met, those hands had not been so gentle in their hold around Alex’s neck.

Now, they caress the nascent hairs at the nape of Alex’s neck, as Astra finally draws back and presses one last kiss, this one almost tentative, against Alex’s cheek.

“Astra?” a voice comes from beyond the door. “Alex?”

Astra leans away from Alex in a leisurely fashion, slowly de-entangling her fingers from around her neck and stepping back, just as Alura floats into view.

“Alex!” Alura is smothering Alex in an embrace before she knows it, squeezing hard enough to remind Alex of Astra’s solar-powered strength on Earth. “Welcome back!”

There is something anchoring about Alura’s embrace, that is oddly similar to Astra’s touch. That gathers up every part of Alex’s soul clamouring to escape her body, brings them in, and holds them close.

Alura doesn’t ask Alex how the mission to Artus III went, a mercy that Alex is infinitely grateful for. Perhaps Astra has warned her against it.

“Kara is home from her father’s early.” she says instead. “I thought we could go down to dinner soon, if you both are ready.”

Alex nods, feeling Astra do the same beside her. As they make their way of the cottage towards the estate, Alura chatters about the headway that her and Lucy are making with getting permanent residence status for the humans stranded on Krypton, about the progress that Kara is making in school, and about how well James and Lena are adjusting to the Kryptonian education system. Sometimes, Astra interjects with additions and minor corrections, while Alex listens in grateful silence, taking in all that had happened while she was gone.

“Are you sure that you want to say here?” Alura, stealing a worried look backwards at Alex and the guest house, as they leave. She is leaning against Astra as she walks, a hand splayed against her twin’s back, while Alex follows them a few paces behind.

“I like it.” Alex says, “It’s more than enough for me.”

“Really? You can always stay in Astra’s old room, now that she’s moved into the guest wing.”

Alura looks worried, a characteristic expression when she looks at Alex, and Alex feels a twinge of guilt, but it is wiped away by the fact that Astra is watching her now too, her gaze amused, and more than a little knowing.

“I’m sure.” Alex mumbles, looking down, aware of her face feeling heated again. “I like the privacy.”

Alura looks between the two of them, her expression somewhat confused.

**\---**

Kara runs to Alex and throws her arm around her as soon as Alex comes in view of the estate. She doesn’t let go all the way to the garden, where the dining area is laid out, although Alex can hear Alura chiding her to “ _give Alex some room to breathe, Kara.”_

Kara eats like a teenager, despite being of an age to almost be finished with her collegiate studies. In-between bites, she describes to Alex the food on the table that she’s still unfamiliar with. Alex tries whatever Kara points her at, although she does swat away her arms a couple of times, when Kara tries to pick things off of her plate. Kara pouts in return, before popping the pilfered item into her mouth regardless.

In that moment, as Kara sticks her tongue out at Alex and Alex steals the last piece of pie in retaliation, this almost feels like home. With the soft murmur of Alura and Astra conversing about whatever new political crusade Lara and Lillian have gotten themselves into, and with Kara chattering about how the science guild had moved Lena up a level last week, and how James had been chastised by one of the guild leaders again, for sneaking up to the roof to take photographs.

“That’s _your_ influence.” Alex informs her, which gets her the stinkeye from Kara, a quickly stifled snort from Astra, and reproachful looks from Alura at all three of them.

It is when the meal is over, and she has finished washing the last plate - handing it over to Kara to dry - that Alex feels a tug at her sleeve.

She turns, and catches Astra’s eyes, shining with reflected starlight, and when Astra stands up and makes to leave, Alex follows without a word.

“Why are they going to bed so early? Do you think Alex is tired from the flight?” She hears Kara ask as they walk away, quickly shushed by Alura, and she can feel Astra shaking with silent laughter next to her.

 

**Part IV: Alex (Earth)**

When Alex first meets Kara, it is on Earth, which is remarkable in itself, because Alex rarely gets the opportunity to venture down-planet.

Alex had been born in space, and spent most of her adult life there too, as an on-call medic on Delta-3, which is one of the ten free-floating bases that Earth’s spacefleet has stationed around the planet. Despite the rarity of a chance to venture down to Earth proper, she is quite familiar with the spaceport itself, on account of working several shifts a week at the infirmary there.

On this day, Alex finishes her rounds early - a rare occurrence - and is walking leisurely around the outskirts of the port, while awaiting the ship that would take her back up to base. Not a particularly safe place for a young woman to be loitering in, the outskirts, but Alex has the added protection that wearing a spacefleet uniform gives her, as well as the combat training that ancillary officers are put through.

She pauses at the sight of the girl a few yards away, quite a few years younger than Alex, who looks clearly out of her element in the marketplace-like environment of the outskirts.

“Kara.” even from this distance, Alex can hear the girl’s loud and cheery reply to some loiterer’s inquiry about who she is. Her expression is open and welcoming, her clothes and carrying bag are screaming _expensive,_ and she has _easy mark_ written all over her.

If she stops to take in the scene for a second, Alex would recognize the outfit that the stranger is wearing, would remember it from one of her father’s lessons as casual Kryptonian wear. She would remember that Kryptonians are nigh invincible on Earth, which might explain this girl’s nonchalant behaviour towards her own safety, as something other than mere unfamiliarity with her environs.

Alex _doesn’t_ stop to think, though, because the loiterer that she is speaking to is pulling out a metal pipe, rusted and jagged at the ends. Alex runs towards the two of them, witnessing the altercation proceed as she closes the distance, sees the girl step back and try to walk away, only to be pursued by the stranger, pipe raised threateningly.

Alex jumps in between them, just before the pipe makes contact. The pipes runs a jagged arc down the side of her torso, and - combat training or no - Alex almost collapses from the pain.

A few moments later, Kara would shake off her shock and come to her rescue, using her solar-fueled strength to throw the attacker off of Alex, and carry her to find medical aid.

A few hours later, after being patched up in the  port’s infirmary, Alex would ascertain for certain that Kara was Kryptonian, and learn that it was only her first day on Earth. Alex would invite the seemingly lost and penniless girl to share her quarters on Delta-3, until she could finish her business on Earth, and return home.

About three weeks later, Alex would learn that her unremarkable roommate was in fact Kara Zor-El, heir to the great house of El, and daughter of two of Krypton’s most renowned citizens. Alex would find this when Astra breaks into her quarters, in search of a niece she thinks to have been kidnapped.

For now, though, Alex falls to the ground, clutching at her side, blood seeping unseen through her dark uniform.

 

**Part V: Alex (Krypton)**

When they return to the cottage after dinner with Kara and Alura, Alex reaches for Astra almost as soon as the door closes behind them, but Astra beats her to the punch. Alex sighs when Astra presses her body against the door with her own. Astra’s mouth attaches itself to her neck, simply kissing her way down the column of it, the feel of it almost unbearable after months apart. Her right leg works its way between Alex’s thighs, kneading and pressing against just the right places, and soon Alex finds herself  heaving against the door, unable to stand, were it not for Astra’s arm slung across her waist.

She skims her hands over Astra’s torso as she arches, curves around her breasts, and strokes them the thin layer of clothing, hearing a moan pressed against her neck in return. Her thumb brushes through across a taut nipple, and she feels Astra freeze for a second, before she exhales against Alex’s ear, as if just now having remembered what it is like to breathe again. Then, Astra removes her leg from between Alex’s thighs, slips her fingers past the waistband of her pants, and Alex’s world goes gloriously blank.

Later, much later, they have reached the bed, with Alex sprawled on it and Astra straddling her, the muscles of her body illuminated in sharp relief by the lights built into the walls.

The darkness hides the multitude of scars crisscrossing Astra’s body, but Alex can see them in her mind’s eye, laid out across Astra’s skin like constellations across the sky. She knows that she can feel the most recent of them, too, if she reaches up and drags her hand down the torso straddling hers, feeling for the telltale raises of broken skin.

As Astra is doing to her right now.

“This is a new one-” Astra’s fingers curve into three barely-healed gouges just above Alex’s clavicle, and her tone is almost academic, inspecting Alex as though she were a specimen to be catalogued. “A Hiraki seems to have clawed at you. And this one-” she traces a burn down Alex’s left breast, her finger leaving goosebumps in its wake “- Was this from an Infernian? Or from an Xorian elemental?”

“Got it in two.” Alex tells her, but Astra has already moved on, hand heading for the healed scar running up Alex’s right side, which can be discerned only by a slight discoloration of the skin around that area, something Astra cannot possibly see in the darkness, but which her fingers trace unerringly, as they have done many times before.

“And this one-” Astra’s voice turns soft. “-this one, you got defending my niece.”

She bends down, and brushes a series of kisses against that area, while Alex leans back and savors the moment, commits the uncharacteristic tenderness in Astra’s voice to memory, so that she can relive it again and again, during whatever next mission Krypton’s space command sends her on.

She remembers the first time they had done this. At that time, Alex’s only wish had been to forget. Forget that a calamity had happened to her home planet, whose casualty had run into the billions, and that she - the borderline-alcoholic washout - had been among the handful of survivors to outlive it. She had found Astra’s room the very night they had landed on Krypton, had fisted her hands into Astra’s shirt, had pressed her lips against Astra’s own, and felt them respond immediately. Astra had kissed her properly then, one hand almost crushing Alex’s head from the force with which she drawn Alex up towards her, a far cry from the soft peck she had placed on Alex’s forehead mere hours before, when they had sped away from Earth’s destruction.

Perhaps that is why, sometimes, Alex wonders if that is all this thing that they have is. That these idiosyncratically constant trysts are just Astra’s odd way of comforting her.

 

**Part VI: Alex (Earth)**

When Alex first meets Astra, she isn’t sure that she’s going to get out of the meeting alive.

She enters her quarters at the base after a brutal 12-hour shift, to find the entire place ransacked, and the culprit striding towards her, murder in her eyes.

It would be nice to say that Alex fought back, that she gave it everything she’d got, but the woman is too fast. Alex is barely moving back and scrabbling for her gun, when she finds herself slammed against the door frame, steely hands curled around her throat, almost lifting her off the floor with their strength.

“Where is she?” the Kryptonian - there can be no doubt about that, after that display of superhuman prowess - asks.

Her voice is controlled, but her eyes are wild - with rage, Alex thinks, though she later realizes it to be terror - and her hands shake just a little, as she holds Alex against the door.

“Where. Is. Kara.”

Later, Alex would find out that Kara had not been a visitor to Earth, but a runaway, who had been presumed kidnapped on her home planet. She would find out that this woman - who is Kara’s aunt, Astra - has travelled through nine star systems and thirteen planets in the past three weeks, sleepless and terrified of the worst possible outcome all the way, trying to track down where her niece had been taken to. Alex would understand the desperation lurking in those furious eyes then, and the terror that had been masked by the violence of their meeting.

For now all, Alex understands is that she has been attacked in her own home by a violent intruder hailing from the same planet as Kara, and therefore, her reply is understandable.

She tries to glare, which is difficult to do when her eyes are bugging out by reflex, and fights out a reply through her constricted throat.

“Go ...to...hell.”

She expects another violent attack for that retort. Oddly, it seems to have the opposite effect. The intruder’s eyes widen, and the pressure around Alex’s throat loosens, enough to get the words out easier.

“Kara!” Alex screams immediately, hoping that Kara is close enough to hear, and sensible enough to heed her words. “Kara, stay away!”

Now her attacker looks confused, but Alex has no time to ponder the reason, because at that moment the wall next to her shatters, with her newfound roommate emerging from the debris.

“Aunt Astra!” Kara shouts, and Alex finds herself dropped unceremoniously to the floor, as her assailant rushes towards Kara.

There is a rapid-fire conversation, then, that Alex tries to follow along, despite the fact she is currently convulsing on the floor, trying to get her breathing back to normal. She registers Kara running to her, cradling Alex’s face in her arms, even as she continues to argue.

“-your mother was worried to near-death about you!” the intruder - Astra - is saying, unaware that Alex is fluent in Kryptonian, having being taught it by her father almost from birth.

“I had to do something!” Kara yells back, “I saw the news, I heard what mother said - if Krypton isn’t planning on interfering, I had to try to get someone here to see sense!”

“By yourself?” for a moment Astra’s tone is condescending, before she relents, “Kara, you have an indomitable spirit, but what is happening to Earth is beyond one person’s control.”

“I had to try!” Kara insists. “They could die, otherwise.”

“Then they would have done it to themselves.” Astra states, “It is the humans who refuse to listen to reason; it is they who persist in harming the planet with their destructive ways.”

“Mother says that too.” Kara’s voice is sullen and muffled. “It’s like everyone has given up, except Aunt Lara.”

There is a pause, and Alex feels eyes on her, as her own flutter open and shut, the exhaustion and rough-handling taking its toll on a body that has already been stretched too thin across the past week.

“You attacked her.” Kara is saying. Alex registers reproach in her voice, but also disappointment.

“I’m a soldier.” Astra’s voice doesn’t relent. “I thought she had captured you.”

“She isn’t like that.” Kara insists. “She _helped_ me.”

Astra doesn’t reply, but Alex can vaguely feel someone kneeling down, can feel cool fingers coming around to frame her face. For a moment, the hands still against Alex’s forehead, fingers drifting almost weightlessly among flyaway strands of hair. Then there is a flurry of movement, and Alex can feel herself being lifted up, and propelled across the room.

She fights to open her eyes, just in time to see Astra deposit her on the bed. Their eyes meet for a moment, and Alex catches regret in them, and a silent apology, before Kara pushes Astra aside, and begins fussing over Alex.

“I’m fine!” Alex snaps, swatting Kara’s hands away after the fifth inexpert attempt to feel her pulse. “I was just in shock.”

“You almost passed out.” Kara shoots back. “You need sleep, dummy!”

Astra is watching them, as they continue to banter. At first, her eyes are still cautious, evaluating, a general’s eyes. Next comes something like wonder, and recognition. Then, all at once, she seems to sag with relief, closing her eyes and collapsing into a chair nearby Alex’s bed, as if all her exertion from the past three weeks had caught up to her.

Kara shoots over to her aunt, and this, then, is Alex Danvers’ first vivid memory of Astra In-Ze: of her collapsed in a chair out of sheer exhaustion, clinging to her niece and whispering broken words of relief and adoration into her hair, while Kara whispers soothing words of comfort back.

 

**Part VII: Alex (Krypton)**

Two days after her return to Krypton, Alex means to make her way down to Earth’s embassy building, to ensure that her residency paperwork is up-to-date before she’s called up for the next mission.

Signing up for the Kryptonian military had been her tradeoff for not being stuck in a limbo of political asylum like the rest of the humans Astra had saved, or being carted of to one of the spaceborne Earth colonies that had outlived the planet’s destruction.

Alex had no family in the colonies, and while the In-Zes’ intervention had granted her temporary residency on Krypton, she had no wish to stay put, petitioning for a citizenship that might never be granted. Her application to Krypton’s spacefleet had been an anomaly, and Alura had had to testify for her in court before the guild would let Alex join, her application bolstered by the fact that Alex had medical training in treating most of the space-faring species of the Interplanetary Coalition, and that thanks to her father, she was well-versed in almost as many languages as the average Kryptonian.

And so Ensign Alex Danvers, enlisted in the lowest rung of Krypton’s spacefleet hierarchy despite a 7-year service record on Earth, makes her way out of the guest house that day, headed for the embassy, only to be almost run over at her doorstep by Lucy Lane striding in.

“Alex!” Lucy says, catching her arms as Alex swerves to avoid her, steadying her awkwardly.

“I was up at the estate again, discussing the asylum cases with Alura, and I thought I’d drop your work papers off while I was here. Save you a walk.”

Lucy looks a little sheepish when she says that, but Alex doesn’t pursue it, attention riveted by the thin screen that Lucy had just handed to her.

“Thank you.” she mumbles, skimming over the documents displayed on it.

Lucy shrugs, stepping past Alex and raiding her cooler without invitation.

“The embassy is still a bit of mess.” She says, opening a can of offworld beer, and tossing another to Alex. “I thought it would be faster if I processed the paperwork for you myself.”

“Seeing as the embassy wouldn’t even have continued to exist with you taking over,” Alex says bluntly, matching Lucy’s swig, though it is too early in the morning. “I wouldn’t really have minded having to wait.”

Lucy shrugs, as if unsure how to take the praise.

For a while, they sip their beers in companionable silence, as the red sun of Krypton dawns in the horizon. Alex can see Lucy fidgeting, though, and opening and closing her mouth a few times, as if deciding whether to broach a subject.

“My dad called again.” Lucy finally admits. “The same argument...he still wants me to join to the rest of the family on 9-Theta.”

Alex feels the familiar anger rise up in her, at the mention of General Lane of Earth’s military. The man who has somehow still not lost his titles and position in the Earth colonies, despite being part of the system that had perpetuated the abuse leading to Earth’s destruction.

The man who had adroitly shipped his family to an off-planet colony long before the planet’s inevitable death sentence had been passed down, so that they were spared from sharing Earth’s fate, save for his two daughters, both of whom had refused to leave until the bitter end.

The man who had stood by, and let Alex’s father, who had foreseen Earth’s destruction at the hands of its own carelessness, die.

“What did you say?” Alex asks, careful to keep the judgement out of her tone, out of respect for the friend who has come to bat for her on more than one occasion.

“I can’t leave _now_.” Lucy runs a hand through her shoulder-length hair, and looks frustrated. “There’s so much to be done. Alura and I are working around the clock, and we’ve barely made a dent in the amount of people processed through for residency.”

Something strikes Alex then, as she takes in the deep hollows under Lucy’s eyes and tallies it together with the uncharacteristic early drinking.

“Were you up all night working on that with Alura?” she demands. “Again?”

For some reason, Lucy blushes, and avoids Alex’s gaze when she replies.

“She put me up in one of the guest rooms.” The words are almost defensive. “There’s a lot of paperwork to be filled out, and we’re on a deadline.”

Alex wants to tell Lucy to slow down, to take it easy, but she knows the words are hollow, coming from her. From Alex, who had taken the first chance to leave the safety of Krypton, and leap headfirst back into danger.

“I hope it goes well.” she mumbles, instead, before draining the last of her drink.

Lucy works herself to near exhaustion trying to help all the people whose lives her father had ignored, and Alex courts death, both of them trying to outrun the fact that they had survived when far worthier people had perished.

 

**Part VIII: Alex (Krypton)**

Alex goes up to the estate around noon, when Alura is at work and Kara is at school, to get in a bit of practice in the training room.

She’s going through some basic warm-up exercises, trying to get her body used to working out on-planet and with gravity adjusters again, when a familiar voice speaks behind her.

“Is this your daily training routine?” It asks, in tone of fake solicitousness. “Are you sure you’re not overdoing it with the leg stretches?”

She turns to find Astra, dressed in her usual training clothes and holding the sword that Alex had gotten for her.

“I think you’re just jealous, at having to share your training space again with someone who can actually keep up with you.” Alex quips back, folding her arms, and willing herself not to shy away from Astra’s frankly admiring gaze, as her eyes move down Alex’s body. Alex is wearing the tight-fitting shorts she had snagged on one of the Earth colonies. She had pulled them on instead of her usual workout pants that morning, trying not to let herself dwell too much on the reasons why.

Astra shrugs, letting that taunt roll off of her, and shifts the sword in her hand, to reveal an identical one beneath it.

“I already had the twin to it.” she admits, holding one of them to Alex, hilt side extended. “This one I asked you to get for yourself.”

Well, that explains Astra’s odd line of questioning on their way back from the spaceport.

“It will be something to pass the time, at least.” Astra says, observing Alex, as she takes the sword and hefts it inexpertly.

Is that what this is about? Is Astra worried that Alex is _bored_ here, stuck planetside? Did Alura put her up to this?

Alex contemplates the weapon in her hand for mere moments, before she shakes her head.

“How about we have another go at hand-to-hand?” She asks, taking hold of both swords and laying them against the side of the training room, before returning to Astra. “See how you stack up, without all that super strength to back you up.”

A dangerous light enters Astra’s eyes.

“Bravery is one thing, Alex.” She says, shaking her head as she crosses to the opposite side of the training room, and faces Alex. “Foolishness is quite another.”

“Is that your way of saying you’re too scared?” Alex fires back.

This time Astra doesn’t respond, lunging at her without warning instead.

And Alex had expected it, she had been preparing for it, but she isn’t quite ready for the speed with which Astra’s feet sweeps out a kick towards her midsection. Alex falls back barely in time to avoid impact, but Astra doesn’t give quarter, immediately springing forward and swiping at Alex’s still-steadying legs, trying to knock her feet out from under her. Alex slides and dodges, focused more on evading Astra’s attacks than striking out on her own.

She knows that she’s not a match for Astra head-on, despite the bravado of her talk; they’ve practiced together far too many times, for Alex to harbor any delusions on that score. Every time she’s eked out a victory in their past bouts, it has been due to the element of surprise, due to Alex coming up with some new angle of attack that Astra hadn’t anticipated.

In this instance, she has noticed from that one of the mats covering the practise area is loose, shaken out of it holdings by constant movement back and forth. The next time Astra strikes out at her, Alex feints a pivot, pretends to flub it, falling on the floor. She braces her hands against the bare floor, and drags her body backwards, the mat moving backwards with her, Astra on the opposite side of it. For a second Astra’s eyes are comically wide, at the mat slides out from right under her feet, and she is thrown off kilter.

Alex scrambles back to her feet, hoping to take the opportunity to land a blow of her own. She’s still not as fast as Astra, though, who is sometimes so quick that Alex accuses Rao’s red rays of giving her power the same as Earth’s yellow sun. When Astra straightens up and heads towards her, Alex is still fighting for balance, hands flailing in mid-air, leaving her torso exposed. A perfect opening, one that a seasoned fighter like Astra could not miss.

Astra doesn’t hesitate, and she doesn’t insult Alex by being gentle, either. The flat of her right foot meets Alex’s chest with full force, knocking Alex several paces backwards, so that her entire body hits the ground with a thud. Astra immediately climbs over her, crossing Alex’s arms in front of her torso to hold them down, and locking Alex’s legs with her own, to prevent Alex from kicking out.

“Yield.” Astra says, her tone even, even though she’s breathing heavily.

“You wish.” Alex growls back, trying her best to strain against the hold.

“Shall I make you?” Astra asks. She frowns, shifts position to hold Alex down with one hand, as the other one draws back, clenched into a fist.

“Do your worst.” Alex replies, bracing for the impact.

The hand comes down, and suddenly Alex is giggling uncontrollably, as Astra tickles her, fingers flying over the most sensitive parts of her skin with an experienced accuracy.

“Yield!” she chokes out before long. “Yield!”

Astra releases her hands at the admission, and settles back on the balls of her feet while Alex lifts herself up halfway off the floor.

“I told you it was foolish to challenge me.”

“Cheater.” Alex mutters.

Whatever other names she has in mind to call Astra, though, die in her throat as she glances up, to see Astra watching her intently, all traces of levity gone from her gaze.

Alex reaches up, teasing her fingers through Astra’s falling locks of hair, lingering on that errant white streak. She gives the slightest tug downward, and Astra follows, lowering her body on top of Alex’s own, and brushing a brief kiss against her lips.

“Beautiful.” Alex murmurs, nosing down Astra’s jawline when they part. “You’re so beautiful, Astra.” Somehow the admission comes out easier, gentler, with her lips pressed against Astra’s throat, feeling Astra’s pulse hammer out a response.

There are other words she could use, words of adoration, of adulation, but these are the ones that always make Astra melt against her, as if she’s unused to hearing that particular type of admiration. That make her curl into Alex’s neck, as she’s doing now, and let out soft sighs, as Alex drags her fingers down Astra’s sides, yanking up the shirt and letting her nails drag fleetingly over the skin underneath.

She doesn’t plan to do much more, aware of the semi-public nature of the training room, but Astra’s mouth finds hers again, and she kisses Alex like there’s no one in the world but them, so that Alex soon find herself lost in the hazy pleasure of it. Finds herself kissing Astra again and again, swallowing every groan and sigh she makes with a savage satisfaction. She works a leg in between Astra’s thighs, grinds up into them while holding Astra’s hips down, and Astra’s fairly growls into her mouth.

Then Astra’s hands are slipping under her shirt, stroking her breasts, and it is some time later before Alex’s finds her mouth capable of making sounds other than sighs, or moans, or Astra’s name.

She does notice though, when they break apart for air for what seems like the fifth time. This time, Astra’s doesn’t seek out her mouth again, working lazy kisses down Alex’s neck and half-exposed body instead.

“Astra.” Alex murmurs eventually, words ending in a gasp when Astra licks her way down her stomach. “Astra, we have to go. Alura said-” she bites off with another gasp, when Astra moves down even lower.

Astra makes a noise of frustration, presses one final kiss, against Alex’s thighs this time,gentle and almost apologetic, before bracing herself against the floor with her hands.

“I know.” she says, lifting off of Alex with reluctance. “Alura told me to round everyone up for dinner before the sun sets.”

Alex nods, speechless as she takes in the sight of Astra above her, half-naked and struggling to put her ruined shirt back on.

“Tomorrow, we’ll get started on the swords.” Astra tells her, when she’s clothed again.

Laughter bubbles up inside Alex at the persistence, but she doesn’t protest, instead pushing herself up to move her lips against Astra’s one final time, savoring the way Astra involuntarily clutches her tighter.

Maybe this is all they’ll ever have, but it makes her so damn happy.

 

**Part IX: Alex (Earth)**

After much arguing and shouting on Kara and Astra’s part, weeping via hologram on Alura’s, and frantic mediation on Alex’s,  it is decided that Kara would stay on Earth for a few more years as is her wish, to continue her studies at one of Krypton’s satellite schools located on Earth. She also manages to snag an internship at the Krypton embassy on Earth - although Alex suspects that her father’s family had something to do with that - and spends her time petitioning  politicians to take a stand against the unstable energy usage of Earth’s spacefaring program, or writing about similar subjects for the grassroots newspaper that she had founded with her new university friend, James Olsen.

She still officially lives with Alex on base, although she spends more than half her time down on Earth. The reason she gives for the odd living arrangements is some mumbled admission about not wanting to live on campus, although Alex secretly suspects that Kara feels bad about letting her live alone.

Alex tells herself that Kara living with her is why Astra becomes such a constant fixture in her life over the next few years. During every break between her deployments, Astra is there, running into Kara’s arms with a hug. Sometimes she is joyful; other times, she smiles when she is around Kara, but there is a hollowness in her eyes, as if they had seen things that haunt her.

And always, always, Astra is fixated on her, asking Alex questions about herself, about Earth, about their ways, poking and prodding until Alex gives her the exact degree of details she needs in her answers, and sometimes pushing further until Alex blows up at her in exasperation. There is never a dull moment with Astra around, though, even when she is doing nothing more than lounging on Alex’s couch, crunching down on a pack of raw noodles like they’re crisps, and asking Alex questions about whatever documentary she’s watching on the computer.

Sometimes, Astra drops by even when Kara is away to political conventions or off visiting other planets. Those times, Astra proclaims that she wants to learn more about Earth, and uses her diplomatic clout to drag Alex down-planet, demanding that Alex take her to museums, gardens, planetariums...the variety of things that Astra gets fixated on makes Alex’s head spin at times.

“To think that your people wilfully continue on the path that could lead to the end of all this.” Astra says, as they return from one such visit, to an out-of-the-way arboretum.

She is gesturing at the trees surrounding them as she says this. Her tone is disdainful, and Alex knows they - she included - deserve it, but it rankles all the same.

“It’s easy for you to say.” she snaps. “I’ve never been to your planet; I can’t possibly know any of the shortcoming of _your_ people. Other than your insufferable superiority complex, I mean.”

“On Krypton, our planet is considered as sacred as life.” Astra says seriously, “Many centuries ago, there were those of my people who tried to abuse it, as yours do here, but the great houses rose in rebellion, and led our government back to the ways of Rao.”

And _god_ , it’s not as if Alex hadn’t tried, but she knows better than anyone how rigged the system here is, how hard it is for one person to go against the tide.

“You’re talking to the choir.” she says, deflating all at once. “My father is the one who died trying to stop this, remember?”

Jeremiah Danvers, Nobel laureate and world-renowned xenobiologist, had been one of the foremost opponents of the careless and unstable abuse of the planet’s energy furnaces. Unlike many other scientists on his side, however, he had both the connections and reach to convince some of Earth’s leading politicians to come around to his way of thinking, enough to pose a significant threat to the companies contracted to upkeep the furnaces.

That is, until an untimely flight accident had robbed Earth of one of its greatest minds, and fourteen-year old Alex of a father.

Astra stops, her face grave and questing.

“Kara said something about that.” she says, all traces of condescension gone from her tone.

“It was just...it was awfully convenient for them that he got into an accident just then, wasn’t it?”

Alex feels Astra’s arms curl around her from behind, drawing her close, as Astra lays her head on her shoulders. They are close enough that Alex fancies she can feel Astra’s heartbeat against her back, knows that Astra can definitely hear hers.

“Kara told me that she is thinking of asking one of her friends, a lawyer, to look into the case on your father, Alex. To see if we can find anything.” Astra says, after some time, “Would you like that?”

Alex doesn’t cry, but she doesn’t trust herself to speak either, so she just nods instead. She burrows back into Astra’s hold, and breathes out, long and deep, and it feels some part of an old grief uncoils inside her, and is exhaled too.

 

**Part X: Astra (Krypton)**

When Astra, tailed by Alex, drops by Kara’s university to pick her up, she finds that Kara has already herded the rest of her family into waiting for them. Kal and Lois, not old enough yet to attend university proper, are looking at their surroundings with mild interest while Kara fusses over them. James has his camera out as usual, the antiquated one of Earth origin, and Lena is watching Kara and Kal’s antics with amusement.

Kara chats to Astra about the debate she won in her international citizenship class that day, as they walk the way back home, taking advantage of the mild weather. James keep stopping to take photographs of things, and Kal and Lois are walking behind them, arguing about something. Astra is aware of Alex walking behind her, close enough to feel the body heat emanating from her. Alex doesn’t speak much, though, seemingly content to simply bask in the glow of Astra’s conversation with Kara.

“-So I argued that, despite our long-held enmity with them, even the Daxamites deserve our guest right, if only to make the lives of any Kryptonians stranded on Daxam easier.“

Astra smiles. Her niece has a heart that could encompass worlds, and she loves it; wants Kara to stay that way. for as long as Astra can manage it.

“I, however, would sooner kill a Daxamite, than invite them into my house.” She says in turn, remembering a brief goodwill mission to the planet, that had left her storming towards her pod prematurely, in utter disgust. Even her commander at the time hadn’t bothered to discipline Astra for that lapse of diplomacy.

Kara looks at her reproachfully now, but Astra doesn’t amend her answer.

“You grow more like your mother each day.” she adds instead, and Kara smiles as bright as Earth’s sun.

“Lucy helped me prepare for it.” she says, “She knows a lot more about our government structure than I realized.”

There’s a questioning inflection to her tone, that Astra has to stifle a smile upon noticing.

“She would.” she replies, nodding noncommittally.

They approach the house just as Alura and Lucy are coming out of it.

“-your hypothesis only holds if the information that that prosecution had failed to disclosed to the defense was material, which I don’t think it is.” Alura is saying, as she rounds the pillars that would bring them into her line of vision.

“You would have one hell of a time proving that it wasn’t.” Lucy replies, stopping abruptly when she sees them. “Hi, guys.”

“Nerds.” Alex mutters behind Astra, as if she herself were not a prime specimen of the descriptor.

Alura runs up to them as soon as she spots them, giving Kara her usual greeting kiss, before embracing the other children.

“Lara and Lillian will be here soon, and Cat is off to pick them up.” she says, dragging them along into the house. “You all need to help me set up.”

The little ragtag family of Earthlings and Kryptonians, who have known more loss between them in their young lifespan than most people do in lifetimes, groan in mock aggrievance. In that moment, they are like any other normal family; the painful spectre of Earth and lost connections is, for once, shoved into the background.

“There are snacks.” Alura says bracingly, and that starts a race between Kara and Kal to the house, followed at a leisurely pace by James, Lena and Lois.

Alura gives Astra another quick hug, before going back inside to supervise. Lucy follows after her, as if gravity begins and ends with Alura, and _oh,_ Astra wonders how her perceptive sister has missed this.

To think that Lucy, who had only got to know them because Kara had asked for her help in finding out what happened to Alex’s father, should have now become an irreplaceable part of this pieced-together family, is proof that nothing in Astra’s life has taken the straightforward trajectory that she had expected. The wealthy girl from military aristocracy, whom Astra’s niece had befriended in university, is a far cry from the tired woman who works long hours to get the same people processed through, that her father had ignored.

There is the same steel in her that has always been there, though, and the drive to serve, that Astra recognizes in both herself and Alura. It is that steel that had allowed Lucy to confront what digging into Alex’s father’s death had revealed, about just how much Lucy’s family and their cohorts were playing fast and loose with safety of her planet and its people. It would have been easy to ignore it, but Lucy hadn’t hesitated to act on her principles, even if it meant going against her own father.

Yet, that same decisive Lucy seems hesitant in this matter, and Alura is all but blind, and perhaps Astra shouldn’t be so amused by this turn of events, but she treasures whatever joy can be found in the midst of disaster.

“You’re smiling.” A voice comes from behind her.

Astra turns to see Alex, wearing the teasing grin that she usually reserves for Kara.

“Thinking of disembowelling some poor Daxamite?”

“Now, _that_ image helps me work up an appetite for lunch.” Astra returns, motioning towards the direction that Alura had called from. “Come on.”

Astra heads towards the house, and Alex follows her.

 

**Part XI: Alex (Krypton)**

By Earth days, today would be the anniversary of its destruction, which is why the morning finds Alex on the rooftop of the Kryptonian Science Guild’s main building, fiddling with the giant telescope stationed there, her mind filled with ruminations of a past that she doesn’t usually allow herself to dwell on.

 _Unsustainable power source_ , they had said. _The reactor furnaces aren’t secured properly. The waste disposal procedures aren’t being followed._

Strange, how much greed could make one turn a blind eye to such pressing concerns, with each generation thinking that the effects of the abuse had yet to catch up to them.

Well, Alex thinks, as she tilts the telescope in the direction of where her planet had been, hers had paid for that hubris, and with interest.

From the view of the telescope, Earth is still there, beautiful and blue-green and _whole_ , and despite Alex's aversion to anything that smacks of the holy, despite her knowing exactly the physics behind this mirage, it still feels like a miracle.

“You are as bad my sister, when it comes to that thing.” Alura’s voice calls out.

Alex scrambles off her perch on the telescope stand in embarrassment, as Astra’s twin comes into view, climbing out of the sun door, but Alura simply approaches her with a fond smile.

She walks over to the telescope, casting a curious glance at the controls that Alex had been fiddling with.

“She used to say that she dreamed of flying.” Alura muses. “I can’t count the amount of times I had to talk her out of trouble, when she would get caught climbing up here.”

She shakes her head at the memory, and bends down to peer through the telescope, as if curious about what Alex had been looking at. She seems confused for a moment, to see the planet in view there, before realization dawns.

“Is that ...it that Earth?”

Alex nods, though of course Alura cannot see her.

"Beautiful." Alura murmurs. "Astra used to rave to me about your oceans. She'd insist that there was more to your world than what our intergalactic guidebooks painted it as."

"Well." Alex shrugs. "I guess."

“Does it look strange to you?” Alura asks abruptly, looking up from the telescope.

“Does what?” Alex asks, thrown off-kilter by the non-sequitor.

“Krypton.” Alura expands, “Lucy tells me that your planet is - was - very different. Do you miss it?”

Alex shrugs.

“I never spent much time there.” she says. “My parents were always travelling to some world or other when I was a kid, and after my dad died, I couldn’t really afford living in that kind of prime real estate.”

Alura’s mouth tightens, and her eyes are perhaps more expressive than she realizes; at times like this Alex gets the feeling that she doesn’t really approve of Earth, despite having never vocalized such a sentiment to Alex.

“It’s fine.” Alex says, mostly to reassure her. “I liked it.”

There had been a comforting remove to it, being miles above an overpopulated planet that she had been too poor to inhabit. Miles above a mother still reeling from the loss of her beloved husband, a mother whose expectations Alex had never seemed to be able to measure up to. The view from Alex’s quarters on base might have been bleak, the food and pay might have been shit, but the solitude had seemed like heaven, then.

Alura looks confused, and Alex can see why that would sound odd to Kryptonians, who hold their planet as sacred as a living being, and who had created a religion out of their sun.

She wonders what a poor specimen of humanity Alura must think she is; this washout medic that Astra had risked her life’s work for.

Not just for herself, Alex reminds herself immediately, as she does whenever her brain starts to slip down that sentimental path.

It doesn’t lessen Alex’s guilt over what Astra’s guild had done to her, though.

“I’m sorry.” she says awkwardly, the first time she has had the chance to say those words to Alura alone, since her return to Krypton, “I’m sorry she’s going through all this for trying to help m-..us.”

Alura looks stricken, then offended, and then she is hugging Alex, grabbing her so hard that Alex almost topples off-balance.

“Do you honestly think my sister would ever value decorations of service over lives, Alex?” she asks, when they pull back. “Over _your_ life?”

And there is the question that Alex never quite knows how to answer.

Earth had burned, and Astra had carried her out of the wreckage with her own hands, had flown her to safety, and even now, Alex doesn’t dare to hope that it was for more than duty, or gratitude for the kindness that Alex had shown her niece.

 

**Part XII: Astra (Krypton)**

Astra is doing maintenance duty on some fighter pods in the Military Guild’s storage hangars, when Alura wanders in with her lunch.

“Look at you.” Alura says, laughter in her voice, as she takes in her twin’s stained clothes, and oil-streaked hair. “I remember when you used to come home looking like this every day, when the guild first recruited you.”

Astra flicks an oily rag at Alura for that. Her sister dodges it with an agility that would have surprised anyone but Astra, who had been the one to drill those reflexes into her.

“I seem to remember a trainee in the Thinker’s Guild.” Astra begins with mock thoughtfulness, “I remember her being run ragged tending to her mentor’s every whim.”

That had been many years ago, back when Astra had signed up for the military guild, at the same time that Alura had started her legal studies in the Thinker’s Guild. Two girls from a middling family, eager to prove themselves.

Many, many years ago.

Alura seems to sense the melancholy turn of Astra’s thoughts. She comes and sits next to Astra by the pod, heedless of the mess on the floor staining her court robes.

“I remember how _you_ would be the one sneaking into the guild to bring _me_ food every day.” she admits. “How young we were then.”

Astra nods. Young and idealistic, before two wars and an armistice gone wrong had flushed both those flaws out of her system.

She eats her lunch in silence, aware of Alura waiting for her to finish, as if there is something more she has to say.

“Is it bad news?” Astra asks finally, laying aside the half-eaten food and pre-empting the inevitable.

Alura seems to hesitate, before shaking her head.

“The paperwork to move up your hearing has gone through. I should be hearing the High Council’s decision on it anytime soon.”

“Nothing conclusive, then.” Astra summarizes.

“No, but not for lack of trying.” Alura, at least, never lies to her.

And so, here is Astra, cleaning up old machines and updating their software, like she’s some rookie at the bottommost rung of the guild’s hierarchy, while the hearing to reinstate her guild status languishes in bureaucratic limbo.

This is how things have to go, she knows; the justice system can’t be bypassed just because of who she’s related to.

That doesn’t make it seem any less unfair. Doesn’t stop her from feeling as if all the blood she had spilled for this planet had been weighed up against one instance of insubordination, and been found wanting.

“Is it that bad?” Alura prompts, into the silence.

“What is?”

“To be away from the stars.” Alura expands, and Astra knows that she has struck at the heart of the matter.

To ride off into the stars, to bring peace across the galaxy in Krypton’s name, to leave no one behind. These are all parts of the vow Astra remembers taking, when she had first been sworn into the Military Guild. Ah, the resolve with which she had set out on her first mission, a routine one patrolling the asteroid belt that bordered Rao’s system.

Many years have passed since then. Years of watching yet another soldier on her squadron killed in front of her eyes, while she arbitrarily survived, and being deployed on mission after mission where it got increasingly hard to tell which side was in the right.

In many ways, Astra knows, she has simply been going through the motions for some years now.

She feels a weight upon her slumped shoulders, registers Alura pressing against her, arms enfolding Astra’s body into hers. It seems her sister has understood her answer without her having to say anything.

“I’ll fight for you.” Alura promises.

Astra nods.

“I know.”

“I love you, Astra.” her sister says.

Astra echoes the sentiment. Another hug, a soft kiss pressed against her hair, and then Alura is gone.

Alura and Kara. The two people that have always meant home to Astra. The two people whom she had always fought to come back to, no matter how the doomed situation she was in seemed.

That line of thinking brings her back to Alex, again, who hadn’t had someone like that, someone to call home.

In recent memory, there have been only two times in her life that Astra can remember feeling that same clarity of purpose that she had felt when first being sworn into the Military Guild.

The first had been when Kara had run away to Earth, presumed captured. Astra had been nearly consumed with rage then, as well as with the desire to find Kara, to bring her back, to wipe away the terrified look that had taken permanent residence on Alura’s face. She had put everything on hold - a promotion to her own command, a deployment to a favoured location - to begin her search for Kara, only to find her safe, in the guardianship of a woman who had nearly given her own life, to save that of Astra’s niece.

The second time have been saving Alex’s life.

Saving as many humans as she could really, from Earth’s boiling surface, but Alex first of all. It had almost cost Astra her own life - perhaps it will come to that still, if Alura fails to convince the Council at her hearing -  but the only regret Astra has is not doing more. Of not having had enough warning to save the planet itself, for not getting more of the people out before it had exploded.

Yes, she feels regret, as do Alura and Lara and Lucy and Lillian, and everyone else who had fought to prevent Earth’s destruction. It’s why Alura spends every waking hour with Lucy, trying to get all of Earth’s refugees processed through the system and resettled. It’s why Lara and Lillian keep petitioning the Senate to put safeguards in place to ensure that a calamity like this doesn’t occur again.

It is why, Astra fears, Alex keeps signing up for reckless missions that only those with nothing left to live for would enlist on.

 

**Part XIII: Lucy (Krypton)**

Lucy hates that she remembers Earth so vividly still, can recall its green beauty and blue oceans with startling clarity.

It makes it harder for her to love Krypton, with all its well-architected beauty, that still looks dull and washed out under its red sun.

The memory of it feels even rawer now, fresh off the heartache of taking another call with her family, from her mother this time, pleading with her to rejoin her family again. She should just stop taking their calls, like Kal says that Lois had, but Lucy isn’t Lois, and she doesn’t feel strong enough to sever this last tie to her family, just yet.

“Are you busy?” The soft voice from the doorway interrupts her.

Lucy turns away from the window to greet Alura.

“No.” she says, the mountain of paperwork sprawled on her desk and in adjoining chairs giving away her lie.

Alura walks in without further invitation, throwing her arms around Lucy and sagging, as if worlds were resting on her shoulders.

“Long day?” Lucy asks, returning the hug with one arm splayed on Alura’s back to support her.

“Long week.” Alura mumbles back.

Lucy shifts a precarious stack of paperwork from one of the overladen chairs to another, clearing a space for Alura to sit in. Alura merely keeps clinging to her, though, and Lucy can’t say that she dislikes it.

She rubs Alura’s back comfortingly, as she points to the documents that she had just moved. It’s a set of forms that it would not have been possible for her to get access to, without Alura expediting the security clearance process. “Thank you for helping me so much with these.”

“Of course.” Alura says, her eyes wide, as if that were obvious. “I want this matter settled just as much as you.”

Lucy nods.

“You look worried.” she observes. Alura keeps a stern mask in court, but in private, Lucy has found that she wears her emotions as easily on her face as some others do on their sleeves.

“The Council has decided to move up Astra’s hearing.” Alura admits. “I’m not ...I feel-”

She stops, looking surprised, and Lucy sympathizes; Alura is _never_ at a loss for words. She must be feeling truly rattled.

“You’ve been practising for this for months.” she says bracingly, “The Council won’t know what hit them.”

Alura nods, but her brows are still furrowed, and her tongue keep flicking out to lick at the roof of her mouth, a nervous tick that Lucy has often noticed about her.

Lucy feels a bit nervous herself, which is _ridiculous_ , when she gestures at some of the paperwork on her desk.

“I need to drop these off at the embassy soon, but do you want me to come over afterwards, so that you can rehearse with me again?”

Alura looks at her anxiously.

“I don’t want to bother you.” she says. “I know you’re busy dealing with the immigration papers for all the asylum seekers.”

“Honestly, if I have to look at another X-14 form today, I’ll scream.” Lucy admits. She has been up from the crack of dawn, reviewing all the requirements needed for the applications and getting the needed documents together. It’s enough to make even Lucy, who loves her line of work, yearn for a break.

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Alura asks immediately, looking over her with concern. “Did you eat lunch?”

Lucy shakes her head, but it only causes Alura to look more worried.

“You need to eat, Lucy.” she insists. “You cannot help your people if you overwork yourself to death.”

“I’ll get something on my way to the embassy.” Lucy promises. “Just don’t feel like heading out right now.”

Alura nods, looking a little placated.

Lucy hesitates, and then sinks to the floor, propping her back against the table.

“Do you have anywhere to be?” she asks.

“No.” Alura gathers the skirts of her robe, before sliding down to the floor next to Lucy, disregarding the vacant chair. “Kara is at Zor-El’s again, Astra is out of the house, and the courts closed early for the holiday.”

Lucy doesn’t feel nervous this time, when she asks Alura her next question.

“Stay here with me, for a while?” she asks. “I could use the company.”

Alura’s face lights up.

“Just...talk to me.” Lucy says, leaning back against the table. “Please.”

And so, Alura talks. She confesses her worries about the hearing for Astra, and touches briefly also on some of the arguments that she has prepared, while Lucy closes her eyes and listens, occasionally interjecting with feedback or suggestions . Alura has a knack for making the most mundane of sentences sound interesting. Maybe it’s from all her years practising in court, or maybe it’s the other way around; maybe her skills with words are the reason why she has risen so high in her practice.

Lucy is so caught up in the words, the sentences wrapping comfortingly around her exhausted body, that it takes her a moment to register that Alura has stopped.

She opens her eyes, and Alura is watching her with soft amusement.

“I see that I have bored you to sleep.”

Lucy immediately protests the statement, but Alura only laughs.

“You’ll do great.” Lucy tells her honestly. “If anyone can save your sister, it’s you.”

Alura smiles again, eyes glistening, and Lucy feels her breath stolen for a moment.

She knows that she’ll never go back to her family. Not when her father had been one of the men in power in the government that had led Earth to ruin. Not when he had been content to turn a blind eye to people like Alex’s father getting killed, because they stood in the way of the interests of big corporations. Not when her mother had been perfectly aware, too, that all this was going on, but had been been content to stay in the bubble of wealth that their family had amassed, unconcerned about the lives and safety of anyone else.

Lucy knows she’ll never go back to them, but she misses them still. Misses her mother, who had kissed her on the forehead every night before putting her to sleep, until Lucy had turned fourteen and put a stop to it. Misses her father, who still calls her his little girl in their phone-calls, and who had once left a diplomatic meeting on another planet early, just to have time to get Lucy a delicacy she’d liked, that was only sold on that planet. She misses Earth too, with its vibrant beauty that no other planet could possibly compare to.

Krypton could never replace Earth in her heart, but this thing she feels for Alura...it is something more than worlds could encompass. At times like now, when Alura looks at her like that, Lucy just has to accept it. She has to accept that they would have met somewhere, somehow, and if this is how it had to happen, then she must bend to the gravity of that inevitable meeting, as surely as Krypton bends to the gravity of Rao.

 

**Part XIV: Alex (Krypton)**

“A position as a medic on your research ship?” Alex asks dumbly. “Me?”

The Martian sitting opposite her smiles.

“Alex Danvers.” J’onn J’onzz says, “There’s no one else I can think who is better suited for the position.”

Alex had ventured back to the spaceport when she had got work that J’onn’s ship was docking for the week. She had been expecting an opportunity to catch up with the  man that had helped her keep her life together, after her father had died and her mother had fallen apart.

What she hadn’t expected, was to be ambushed with a job offer.

“The Green Martian colonies are expanding too fast to be contained to spaceborne ships.” J’onn is saying now, “With Mars being the warzone it is, the planetary exploration program is the only way for us to find a new home.”

“Are you sure you want someone like me for this?” Alex wonders, in a moment of weakness, but quickly follows it up with, “I’ve got a pretty good gig in Krypton’s spacefleet.”

“You went in facing enemy fire in a blizzard on a planet whose precipitation is fatal to humans.” J’onn states. “Facing almost certain death is not a ‘pretty good gig’, Alex.”

“But I survived.”

J’onn exhales an exasperated sigh, and Alex slumps down in her chair.

“I _did_.” she mutters.

“This is a good opportunity.” J’onn says. “How many times do we get the chance to rehabilitate a planet back to thriving life again?”

Alex mutters a barely audible reply.

“You have the training for it, don’t you?” J’onn presses, as if he hadn’t been the one to pony up to put Alex through undergrad and med school.

“You know I do.”

“A xenobiologist with medical training and combat experience...that’s exactly the kind of cross-trained personnel we need.”

“I haven’t done the hard science stuff in a while, though.” Alex argues. “I was just an on-base medic in Earth’s spacefleet, and Kryptonians are more about recon than exploration; I don’t have much field experience.”

“Why are you trying so hard to bring yourself down, Alex?” J’onn asks, point blank.

Alex growls in frustration.

“I just don’t want you thinking that I can deliver on things I can’t.”

“I’ve seen your university transcripts, and your work reviews.” J’onn says bluntly, “If it’s failure you’re afraid of, we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it, because I see no signs of that possibility yet.”

There’s silence, as Alex digests the praise, something glowing deep inside her.

“Your father saved my life once, you know.” J’onn throws out into the silence, conversationally.

Alex smiles weakly.

“You’ve only told me that a hundred times.” she says.

“Looks like it needs to be a hundred and one.” J’onn says firmly. “As many times as it needs to get through your skull that you’re his daughter in more ways than just blood, Alex.”

Alex shakes her head.

“You’ve barking up the wrong tree, J’onn.”

Her father had died for his beliefs. Alex had, at best, been a pawn, caught up in machinations far beyond her control.

“Why did you do it?” she asks, swallowing back a sudden hiccup in her voice.

J’onn watches her with this full attention, but he doesn’t prompt her.

“You could’ve gotten arrested, lending Astra the ship to save us.”

There’s a small smile on J’onn’s face.

“You figured that out, huh?”

Alex nods.

“Martian phasing technology was the only thing that could have gotten her and Kara past Krypton’s atmospheric barriers in time to reach Earth.” She says. “And getting Kara away during the return, so that only Astra got caught manning the ship...that was your transmat, wasn’t it?”

“M’gann helped with that part.” Is J’onn’s brief reply. “An arrest would have been worth it, given how many lives it saved...given that it saved _you_.”

It’s the way he says it, so matter of fact, the ‘you’ addressing only her.

“I’ll think about the offer.” Alex mumbles.

She gets up to leave, but not before giving J’onn a lingering hug, never wanting to let go of the one person who had always believed in her, despite her giving him every reason to the contrary.

“ _You_ would have been worth it, Alex.” he says again, as a parting gift, and - once again - it is so easy to believe him.

\---

Alex returns to the guest house to find Astra taking over the living room, painting.

“Just a moment.” Astra murmurs, as she enters, holding her free hand up, as the other one trails a brush carefully over the canvas.  Her hair is askew, she’s wearing old paint-stained clothes, and she looks beautiful.

Alex waits until there is a natural break in-between the brush strokes, taking the time to admire Astra in this state, one that she doesn’t catch her often in.

Astra eventually looks up, and there’s a peaceful light in her eyes, as they land on Alex.

“I like it when you look at me like that.” she says softly, beckoning Alex closer.

Alex steps forward accordingly, and kneels down to face Astra. She cups her face and kisses her, intending it to be a greeting.

When she pulls back, Astra looks furious.

“What was that?” she asks.

Alex is taken aback.

“You’re crying.” Astra says. She looks ready to kill someone.

“I’m not-” Alex begins, and then scrubs at her face, at the tears that had collected there without her consciously registering them.

“What happened?”

Alex looks into stormy eyes, considers lying, and instead blurts out the decision that she hadn’t even realized she had made.

“J’onn asked me to join his research ship.” she says, “I’m going to accept.”

It’s easy to chart the progress of Astra’s understanding of this statement, through the emotions that flash across her face. Surprise, then happiness, followed by relief of all things, and ending up in resignation, as the penny drops.

“You’ll lose your residency card here.”

Alex nods.

“I can still visit.” she offers.

“You could just let yourself be sponsored by us!” Astra insists. “Let Alura adopt you. I know she’s only waiting for you to ask.”

Alex wraps her arms around herself, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

“Alura has done enough for me already. You all have, you and Kara and Alura-”

She pauses, choosing her next words carefully.

“I know you feel responsible for me, because you saved me and brought me here, but you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m pretty good at looking after myself.”

Astra looks devastated. Her face cracks along familiar faultlines, that Alex remembers from whispered confessions at night, when Astra would wake up mumbling from restless dreams.

“Is that what I am to you?” Astra asks, rage simmering beneath a shaking voice, “Your savior? Someone to hold your hand in this brave new world I’ve brought you to?”

“What else?” Alex asks, “What else could you possibly want from me?”

There it is, the question she has been afraid to vocalize. She advances and Astra tenses, but stands her ground, impossibly solid. Alex clings to the front of her paint-stained robe, as she continues.

“I can’t be adopted by Alura, Astra. Even if you don’t want me, I can’t be that, not if it means being your...being your-”

She stops, looking into Astra’s eyes, willing her to understand, baring her heart to the woman who had almost killed her, and then saved her.

In this, as in other things, Alex falls, and waits for Astra to catch her.

 

**Part XV: Alura (Krypton)**

Alura stands behind the door of a small room that is a mere few paces away from the courtroom where Astra’s hearing is to be held.

“You’ve got this.” Lucy tells her softly, from her perch on the floor a few feet away. Somehow, she has sensed that Alura can’t bear to be comforted with touch right now.

Alura nods, and Lucy falls silent.

This is it, the end of months of petitioning and paper-pushing. If this hearing goes well, Alura’s sister will have been cleared of wrongdoing, and the Military Guild would have no grounds to uphold their dismissal of her. If it goes badly, Astra could very well go to prison.

Alura just wishes that both outcomes didn’t feel unsatisfactory to her.

When Astra had first told her of her reckless plan to save as many humans as she could from Earth’s still-exploding surface, Alura had been horrified. Not because she hadn’t shared the sentiment, but because she had been terrified for Astra.

Her sister has always left her. For missions all over the universe, coming back with scars and haunted eyes, with nightmares that would make her scream in the night.

For every mission that Astra goes on, Alura fears that it may be her last one.

And then, even above that, the plan has been so foolhardy, hastily planned and with too many unknowns. Alura had pleaded with Astra to reconsider, to wait until they had more information, but Astra had been adamant.

It had been like them, really, Alura thinks. Astra and she are always of one mind, when it comes to their beliefs. What they have always disagreed on, is the path of action to take.

Still, Astra’s mind had been set, and Alura couldn’t very well let her do something this disastrous alone. And Lara, who had seen this coming before either of them had, who had been petitioning the Interplanetary Senate for years to _do something_ about Earth, had been thrilled to help.

So Alura had kept the High Council distracted, and Lara started a filibuster in the Interplanetary Senate to do the same, while Astra and Kara had made off in the ship that Astra’s Martian friend had procured for her.

And now Alura stands here, a flimsy door being the only thing standing between herself, and a courtroom that might seal her sister’s fate forever.

“Knock ‘em dead, your honor.” Lucy says humorously, calling back to one of the ambitions that Alura had confessed to her many weeks ago, during one of their nightly meetings.

How easy it is, to confess her deepest fears and wants to Lucy, despite only having met her less than a year ago.

Perhaps it is because Lucy _listens_ , files away everything Alura has to say, and calls back to her words with sometimes-startling clarity.

Perhaps that is why Alura crosses over to where the woman is seating, and does something that she has been hesitant to do until now.

She kisses Lucy on the forehead, softly, and sees the other woman’s eyes widen.

“Later.” Alura promises, with a smile, and straightens up, facing the door towards which she be marching through very soon, into the heart of a crowded courtroom.

She has to do this. She has to get Astra her commission back.

Because, her sister may fly off into the stars once in a while, but she’ll come back to Alura. She always has.

 

**Part XVI: Astra (Krypton)**

Alex finds out from the newscasts about the High Council’s verdict before Astra can tell her the news herself. It seems she had been walking down a street when the public address system had caught her ear.

“Astra In-Ze, hero of the Grytian war, broker of the Centauri-Rhoterian treaty, and Chief Arbiter of the Zorlovian Conflict, was cleared this morning of all misconduct in her actions proceeding th-”

In any case, as Astra stands pacing around the guest room that evening, waiting for Alex to return so that she can tell her the good news, the door fairly bursts open and Alex runs in, jumping into Astra’s arms without so much as a greeting.

For many moments, they simply sway in place, holding on to each other, the touch conveying more apologies than words could.

“Alura says that she could have me reinstated in the guild right away.” Astra says, when they break apart, and she feels as breathless as Alex sounds. “I could be commissioned again, with my pick of deployments.”

“Even the one you wanted, to Taxar Prior?” Alex asks.

Astra nods, and then, she cannot help herself. She steps forward and places her arms around Alex’s waist, burrowing into her neck.

“I’m not taking it.” She mumbles, closing her eyes at the heat emanating from Alex’s body, through the soft shirt that she’s wearing.

“What?” Alex sounds dazed.

“I talked to M’gann.” Astra says, pulling back to look into Alex’s eyes. “She’s always in need of people to man the convoy ships that run covert operations from the Green Martian colonies to their home planet.”

“Mars?” Alex looks haunted, “Astra...you know what it’s like there. You’ve seen the videos.”

“All the more reason for me to lend my strength to M’gann’s cause.”

“They’ve got technology even more advanced than Krypton’s.” Alex argues. “You don’t know what you’re up against.”

“I would be near invincible on Mars.” Astra reminds her. “The White Martians in charge there cannot even read my mind.”

“Which might actually make you stand out _more_ , in the wrong place.” Alex says.

She sounds half-worried and half-exasperated, as if Astra had not already thought this through herself, and discussed it endlessly with Alura, before coming to the decision.

“I’ve been in far more dangerous situations, Alex.” she says, shaking her head.

“But what changed your mind?”

Astra doesn’t have a simple answer to that. It’s hard to articulate the years of disillusionment that had led to this shift in her mindset. Perhaps, one day, she can explain it all to Alex. For now, she settles for the tipping point.

“I was thinking of us.” she admits. “M’gann and J’onn...they often work together, don’t they? I’d get to see you more often, this way.”

“Of us?” Alex’s voice is soft now. Her hands cradle Astra’s neck, as if she's holding something precious.

Astra nods, and she buries her face in Alex’s chest again, feeling the habitual calm wash over, as she inhales the scent of Alex.

“Brave.” she mumbles, hands unable to still, travelling up and down Alex’s shirt, tracing her scar through the thin material. “You were always the brave one, Alex.”

“Says the woman that Alura says climbed on a rampaging snarebeast, just to distract it from targeting her squadron.” Alex says, laughing softly and throwing her head back and _oh, she’s wonderful._

“She wouldn’t talk to me for a week after she found out about that.” Astra admits, weaving her fingers through Alex’s short hair, and then turning her hand over to maneuver Alex closer to her. Alex fairly sinks into the touch, and they float into perfect content for a moment.

“I could marry you, Alex.” Astra whispers into the lull, and then bites her tongue, when Alex looks up in shock. This wasn’t how she had planned this.

“I could!” Astra insists, when the light in Alex’s eyes fades, as she studies the chagrin in Astra’s own. “Then Alura won’t need to adopt you, and you won’t have to keep renewing your papers.”

“In a bit of a rush, aren’t you?” Alex sounds teasing now.

“I read up on your Earth customs.” Astra argues. “The couple goes on ‘dates’ together, and spend time together doing various activities. If they find each other’s company tolerable, it is only natural to take the next step forward.”

“Dates?” Alex sounds confused.

“We had many on Earth.” Astra challenges her, as she stacks up her argument, calling up every trick of the trade that she had picked up from Alura. “The museums, the art galleries, the gardens. And we have spent a lot of time together, training, eating, sleeping. Living.”

A new light is coming into Alex’s eyes.

“Is that what the swords were for?” she asks.

Astra nods. Obviously. She had thought Alex would appreciate the shift from the monotony of their usual training sessions.

“Only you would think of sword-fighting as spending time together.” Alex says, and Astra almost frowns, but Alex sounds _fond._

Alex disentangles herself from Astra, and takes something out of her back pocket.

“This was my father’s ring.” she says, by way of explanation. “He gave it to my mother, but she passed it on to me before she left.”

Astra nods, watching the ring as if hypnotized.

Alex places the ring on Astra’s palm, and wraps her fingers close over it.

“Keep it safe for me, Astra?”

Astra stares, but only for a moment, before she places a soft kiss on the corner of Alex’s lips. She pries Alex’s fingers from her hands, and gives the ring back to her.

“Alex.” she tells her patiently. “I have read up on your religion. You’re supposed to put the ring on my finger. There is even an entire ancient ballad about it, I believe.”

“You realize, in effect, what that legally means.”

“As I said,” Astra says, kissing her again, as Alex slips the ring onto her index finger. “I have read up on your religion.”

In this, as in other things, Astra catches Alex when she falls.

 

**Part XVII: Alex (Krypton)**

“Don’t say it.” Alex warns.

“I don’t know what you mean.”  Kara is looking at her with the same grin she wears when she looks at the Earth-style donuts that James cooks up for her sometimes. Like her favorite holiday just got announced early.

Alex squints at her suspiciously, but relents when Kara doesn’t say anything for several moments.

“I mean.” Kara begins, just as Alex relaxes and turns back to the tablet she had been reading. “I always knew I wanted you to be part of my family, but I never realized you were going to be my _aunt_.”

Alex groans.

“We’re not even getting married yet!” she protests.

“Still.”

“You’re taking this too calmly.” Alex accuses. “You should be more freaked out.”

“Oh, I’m definitely a little freaked out.” Kara tells her reassuringly. “You and my aunt is…weird. Especially seeing as my mom was talking to me about adopting you only like, three days ago.”

Alex winces.

“Oh god, I don’t even know to break it to Alura.”

“Mom will be fine.” Kara says, waving an airy hand, “I think she’s got other things to worry about on her plate, right now.”

Alex’s slumps forward, finding herself half-laughing and half-crying at the ridiculousness of it. That she had survived her planet ending, and dangerous missions to strange worlds, but telling Alura about her love for Astra seems so daunting.

“Hey,” Kara’s voice is soft, as she reaches out and tilts Alex’s chin up.

“You know, I always thought of you as the big sister I never had, from like, the first week I met you.” Kara says, with a conviction that makes Alex glow. “This is never going to change that. And it won’t change how much my mom cares about you, either.”

Alex finds herself smiling back, with the openness that only Kara can inspire in her.

There’s a grief in her heart, dull and blunted, that will never go away, and she doesn’t think that she’ll ever get over the feeling that she, out of all the billions who had died, shouldn’t have got out alive. But Kara - her sister, for Alex has always thought of her that way too, even if only in her mind - smiles at her, and Alex feels a little less guilty for having survived.

Then Kara’s mouth quirks up mischievously.

“Even if you’re going to be my weird aunt now, too.”

Alex gives her a well-deserved swat on her arm for that.

\--

 


End file.
